You’re trying to help Dad get through a bath, a clothing change, and his bedtime routine. You’re calm, you’re patient, but still, the tension builds. His voice rises and he pulls away from you, and suddenly what should be a simple task feels like a standoff. But when you start humming an old favorite song, everything softens for a moment. That tiny shift is the whole idea behind a “playlist sandwich,” and if you’re wondering how to make hard things easier for someone with dementia, you’ll definitely want to explore this tactic.

 

A playlist sandwich is a simple way to use music as a bridge around challenging moments in dementia care. It doesn’t fix everything, but it gives both of you a chance to breathe.

 

So… What Is a Playlist Sandwich?

 

Think of a playlist sandwich as a musical cushion around a hard task:

 

• 1 minute of an upbeat, well-loved song
• The challenging care task
• 1 minute of a calming, soothing track

 

The first song helps set a positive tone and capture attention. The task happens while that positive feeling is still “in the air.” The final song helps the nervous system settle back down, so the person isn’t left feeling stirred up or overwhelmed.

 

It’s short, simple, and flexible. You can do it with a speaker, a small device, or just by singing or humming if technology feels like too much.

 

How to Build a Playlist Sandwich

 

Start small. Pick one task that tends to be tough and experiment there.

 

1.     Choose your task. Think about the part of the day that routinely feels stressful:

 

• Bathing or showering
• Changing clothes in the morning or at bedtime
• Incontinence care
• Brushing teeth or hair
• Getting ready to leave the house

 

You’re using just one as your test case.

 

2.     Pick the “top slice” – the upbeat opener. You want something familiar and positive, not just any old background noise. Try:

 

• Songs they danced to when they were young
• Hymns or spiritual songs that mean a lot to them
• A favorite movie or show theme song

 

Play or sing it for about a minute before you begin. This gives their brain time to shift gears.

 

3.     Do the task gently, staying in the rhythm. As you move into the care task, keep the music going softly. You might:

 

• Sing along while helping with buttons or zippers
• Sway a little with them as you guide them to the bathroom
• Match your movements to the tempo

 

If they join in and hum or tap along, that’s a good sign the music is helping them stay engaged.

 

4.     Pick the “bottom slice” – the calming closer. Once the hardest part is over, switch to something slower and soothing:

 

• A gentle instrumental version of a favorite song
• Soft piano, strings, or nature sounds they enjoy
• A lullaby or slow hymn

 

This tells the body, “We’re safe. The hard part is done.” Stay with them for a minute or two as you finish up, offer a drink of water, or just sit quietly together and enjoy the music.

 

When a Playlist Sandwich Can Help Most

 

You can try this approach any time the tension tends to spike:

 

• Bathtime battles. Many people with dementia resist bathing because it feels cold, confusing, or exposing. Starting with a bright, familiar song and ending with something calming can make the experience feel less threatening.
• Evening agitation. If late afternoon and evenings are tricky due to sundowning, use a playlist sandwich around things like changing into pajamas or taking nighttime medications, when agitation often peaks.
• Moments of “no.” If you hear “No!” or “Leave me alone!” during care, don’t force it. Back up, start the opener song, and try again once the mood has shifted a little. Sometimes the music gives you a small window of cooperation you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

 

Every person is different, so you may need to play with timing, volume, and song choices. If something clearly irritates or overstimulates the person, stop and try a different track next time.

 

Some days the playlist sandwich will feel like a small miracle. Other days, it might not seem to change much at all. That’s okay. What matters is that you’re experimenting with gentle, non-medication tools that can make life more comfortable for the person you love.

 

Want More Help With Dementia Care?

 

If daily tasks at home are becoming more than you can manage, our specially trained caregivers are here to help build routines, including musical ones, that make life easier for both you and the person you love.

Reach out to us at 617-376-3711 to learn more about our dementia care in Boston, Cambridge, Newton, and throughout Eastern Massachusetts, with live-in care available in New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Massachusetts.